pebble's writing

Raising the Hoof

2026-02-05T00:00:00Z

The Making of Afterhour Adjustments

Hello!! Despite being a pretty short comic, Afterhour Adjustments is the biggest project I've taken on - probably ever, to be honest! So I figured I'd talk some about the process of creating it, as there's a lot that was changed, cut, or added over the few months I spent working on it. For the sake of making this easier to read, I'll use proper capitalization for once.

Special Thanks

Firstly, I'd like to extend special thanks to all those who supported me throughout the process of making this comic:

My close friends & my owner, for keeping me company while I worked on this thing and being there to support me

Furufoo, for providing very thoughtful feedback and suggestions on composition, pacing, layout, etc., and letting me use their cool comic font. Go check out their art!!

The critters who bought the comic, for helping me pay the bills (thank youuuuu <3 ;w;)

& all of u who shared feedback on the comic, for helping motivate me to make more stuff and making me feel appreciated

Thank you all so much <3

What follows is the original behind the scenes document included with the paid release of this comic, with only minor grammar and accuracy edits.

The Idea

I was talking to a friend about the idea of mouthlessness, and what living without a mouth would be like - which is something I've been fixated on a lot lately. Do you ever get fixated on kinks? It honestly happens to me a lot, and I find there's not much I can do to like, satisfy my fixation. We were talking about it a lot, specifically the different aspects of life it'd affect. The idea of a mouthless character getting an x-ray and seeing just how thoroughly their anatomy had been altered was mentioned, and that idea really stuck with me. It was something I wanted to explore, so I did a simple sketch of my sona, then overlaid it with a sketch of what its skull would look like. I used images of actual capybara skulls for reference to help sell the realism of it. And I was really happy with the result! Though it did look kinda freaky, and I was worried others might really not like it, so I decided against posting it in the end. But you get to see it! :3

I was so happy with the result, in fact, that I wanted to explore this idea more. Over the course of a few days I came up with the idea for a short comic of pebble going to a doctor shortly after being transformed, being faced with the reality of just how permanent its new situation was. Then I figured that if I was going to show what pebble was doing after being transformed, I might as well also show how it got transformed in the first place. And so, the first draft of Afterhour Adjustments started to take shape.

Initial Scope

The idea of making a whole comic was very intimidating. At this point, I had only ever made one multi-page comic, and that was 5 years ago. Inclination: Null was also stylistically very simple, with the whole comic drawn as just rough sketches. But I had recently figured out a way to make myself draw nearly every day, and I was working on drawing ideas more complex than I had been able to in years, so I figured it would be worth a shot. I started by deciding that this project was going to be 5-10 pages, which should hopefully be enough to tell the story I wanted to, and I got to work on a rough draft of the story.

At first, I was only going to focus on the transformation aspect. I saw this comic by FabFreakShow, where a character gets transformed by having someone mold their form like it's made of clay, and it stuck with me and inspired the direction I decided to take with this comic's transformation. I thought about who was going to transform her, and the first thing that came to mind was this demon character design I had been forming in my head for like, years at this point. The fit was too perfect for me to choose anything else, honestly! I wrote out a very rough script for the first 3 pages, not even having a set direction in mind for the rest of the comic, and I got to work. Overthinking is my worst enemy when it comes to creating, so I wanted to avoid it as much as I could.

Style Evolution

I was still skeptical about whether I'd be able to finish an entire comic, even if I did my best to keep the scale down, so I wanted to ease my workload as much as I could to keep myself motivated. I worried that if the pages were to take me a long time to make, I wouldn't be able to stay motivated long enough to continue working on the project. Which is why I initially decided on a simple style. I would keep it monochrome and use thick lines, making plentiful use of the line tool for the backgrounds.

I quickly realized that I didn't like how this came out. I thought that not having to deal with colors would make this easier, but turns out drawing in monochrome is like, a whole skill of its own that I'm not very good at. Oops! For my second attempt, I decided to add some complexity. Still keeping it monochrome, I added individual shades to the character and I added shadows.

This definitely looked better! But I still wasn't happy with it. I liked the added contrast, but it now looked like a 30s noir detective drama. Which is, like, not at all what I was going for.. Instead of reworking everything, I decided to mess with different color filters. Given the night theme, I decided to try a darker shade of blue, and I honestly think it worked pretty well!

At this point, I thought it looked good, and I totally could have done the whole comic in this style. But.. I thought I could do better. I wasn't liking the thick uniform lines. I thought the contrast was still pretty bad. I just really wasn't feeling this style for this comic, so I decided to try a different approach.

I pretty much drew the whole page again. I used thinner lines, giving everything definition in the process. I also decided that I would use colors after all - but to keep it simpler, I would use a set color scheme for the backgrounds. The colors of the character didn't change from page to page, so I didn't have to worry about that too much. I would also use soft shading instead of cel shading, as I found I had an easier time with it and I could get away with being less precise without it looking bad. Interesting, right? I'd have thought soft shading would be more effort, but I find it much simpler, if I'm trying to make it look decent, anyway. Lastly, I added a subtle color overlay over the non-shaded parts of the character as like, an easy way to make the lighting "pop out" more. I was really happy with this! This was the direction I wanted to go.

After getting started on page 2, I made a few further adjustments to the style. Mostly I just adjusted the colors slightly, but I also added rim lighting to the character to help her stand out more against the backgrounds. Additionally, I decided to put a little more effort into some of the simple backgrounds, like the cityscape here. I also later decided I'd go for narration instead of thought bubbles on the first page, to better tie it in with the final pages.

The Story

Before I started working on the comic, I decided that I wouldn't try to plan the whole thing out from the start and leave it more open ended for myself. I wasn't really sure how draining working on the comic would be for me and how many pages I'd want to draw, so it was important to not constrain myself at this point.

The Bad Ending

Over time I started trying to figure out where I wanted to go with the comic. The initial idea was to just focus on pebble losing her mouth, and the aftermath of that. Instead of being relatively calm once she gets teleported home towards the end, she was going to panic, running to the bathroom, struggling to deal with her new reality. There was going to be a lot of focus on the panicking part, internal dialogue, her feeling up her snout, that kind of thing. I wanted to just end the comic there, with pebble all panicked. I think TF stories where the TFee struggles with it at first can be really fun!

There was also a plan to do a follow-up comic if I felt like it, exploring pebble's life after the transformation. The scene where she gets an x-ray showing absolutely nothing being left of her mouth was honestly the thing that got me to want to do the comic, so it's not much of a surprise that this was one of the things I wanted to focus on in the follow-up. Other scenes I wanted to include were her figuring out that her snout is sensitive for the first time, struggling with the conflict of not wanting to give in to the changes, but also wanting so bad to make herself feel good in that way. Then her meeting up with friends for the first time post-transformation, and what that would be like.

The Good Ending

Later on, I decided to sort of merge the follow-up comic with the main story and include the scenes after what was initially meant to be the ending. I also decided to go for a more euphoria-focused vibe, since I felt it fit better with how I feel about the theme of mouthlessness. I also just liked it more, honestly - I feel like you don't see TFs with happy endings that often. Instead of the ideas I wanted to explore getting their own scenes, they each got one or two panels. I feel like the one and a half pages of pebble's life after the transformation add so much to the comic, and bring it all together really nicely. I'm sure some of you would have preferred the peril-type ending, but personally, I think there are more than enough tf comics like that out there :3

After deciding on the new ending, I also decided that pebble would get nulled and hoofed as well. Initially, she was going to already be null by the time the events of the comic take place, having gotten a bottom surgery and all, but I figured her getting nulled would be very fun to include, so I dedicated a few panels to that :3 I've also had the idea of having hooves for hands but still having her/my regular footpaws stuck in my head for a while. Something about the footpaws being more dextrous than the forelimbs is really appealing to me! So I decided to include this as well. Personally I think the combination works really well, and I'm really glad I decided to go with it.

Designing Rascal

I've had this idea for a trickster demon character in mind for a while now. A wish fulfillment demon who gets satisfaction from changing others' bodies in a way that they don't yet know they want - but they always end up loving it.

In terms of visual design, I wanted it to clearly look out of place. Not bound by the laws of our world, its body a single color, except for white lines defining its shapes where needed. Its body lanky, stretchy. Here are the characters who inspired its design and behavior, in no specific order:

Can you guess what behaviors are inspired by which character? :3

I decided to give it shackles with chains permanently attached to its collar and limbs, to kinda show that others tried to contain it, but failed - that it cannot be stopped. It plays by its own rules, and if it chooses you as its "victim", there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it from permanently altering your body in whatever way it wants :3

I find the whole idea of this character incredibly hot ok

Also, since I've been asked about this a lot throughout the process of sharing this comic publicly:
Rascal is a wish fulfillment demon, of a sort. The idea is what whatever it does to you, you eventually end up enjoying it, and feeling like it was exactly what you needed in life.

Closing Thoughts

Thank you so much for being interested in my little comic!! Whether you supported it financially, or just enjoyed it once I shared it publicly, your support means a lot to me! It was honestly such a joy to get to work on this, and to see it to completion. I've never attempted, much less finished, a project of this scale. There's definitely things I could've done better, things I would've done differently if I could have, but I'm really proud of myself for not expanding the scope of the project more than I could handle, and it was a great learning experience for me too.

A part of why I wanted to do this was to see whether making comics was genuinely outside of my reach, whether it was something I could do but didn't really enjoy, or whether it was something I could see myself doing for a while. Thankfully, I believe it's the last option! With this knowledge, and all the experience I gained working on this project, I think I might finally be able to get started on another project I've had in mind for a while. We'll see ;3

Thanks for reading!!

PS: If you're interested in more like this, this story I write a bit ago takes place in the same world and also features Rascal. Admittedly I don't have much experience with writing stories and it kinda shows in this one >w>'

behind the paws!

2026-01-22T00:00:00Z

i thought i'd talk a little about the process of making the paw drawing from an artist's perspective, since it was a fun experiment in a lot of ways!

this post has a lot of images! please don't mind their layout, i don't wanna code a new image layout just for this one post >w>' you can click on them to expand them if you'd like

ok, so, the initial sketch had a lot of line thickness variance, but it was also too rough to try to clean up without spending a lot of time on it, so i did my best to try to preserve the variance while doing a line pass. i don't usually do this, so it was fun to try to figure out where the extra weight made sense vs where it was just a byproduct of struggling with the shape during the sketch phase - interestingly there was a lot of overlap! difficult shapes tend to be the ones that look good highlighted, turns out

in terms of shading, i picked a more difficult light source position (above) than i usually do, i thought it'd be fun with the complex shapes to try to figure which parts the light would hit. i also put extra effort into using shading to highlight certain anatomy, specifically the "heels" here. in a lot of art i like i noticed that artists often use shading to highlight details that aren't lined or colored, so i wanted to practice doing that too! i think i'll be trying to do that more in the future. sometimes i like to compare the process of soft shading to like, carving out a statue, and on the pic below you can kinda see what i mean! in essence the process is very similar (erasing out pieces to make shapes come to life). i also put a slight gradient over the shading layer, i figured it'd add a nice touch.

even with all the shading i wanted to make the focus of the drawing pop out more, so i decided to add little shiny highlights that point towards the light source. despite being a really small detail i feel like it adds a lot. cue the meme that's like "horny vs not horny" and the only difference is a few shinies dfgjh

then to add a little warmth i added an orange gradient over top, erased out the spots where light doesn't hit, and set the blending mode to color dodge. it's like barely noticeable, but i feel like shifting the color temperature of the light with this looks neat!

and lastly i added a leather texture overlay, just as a small touch, it's something i noticed other artists using to make their art pop out more so i decided i'd give it a try too

you may notice that the work in progress pics have like, wrinkles above the paw pads - i removed those as a last minute change because they didn't make much sense with the anatomy being digitigrade otherwise. ok that's all! thanks for reading

rain world: the watcher

2025-10-27T00:00:00Z

this review is spoiler-free

rain world: the watcher is a wonderfully executed story about loss, trauma and cycles of abuse with a few glaring issues. in a lot of ways, it feels like a successor to the original rain world more than an expansion, but in others it significantly falls short of being enjoyable to play.

i've been playing rain world a lot since 2020. i enjoyed downpour, but despite being really fun and adding a lot to the game, it felt like it was significantly disconnected from the kind of game the original rain world was trying to be. in contrast, playing the watcher felt like playing rain world for the first time again. it challenges what you think you know about the world, it forces you to break habits you may have gotten used to as a long time player and it brings in a completely new story and world instead of building on top what was established in the original game, all the while still feeling like rain world.

the story of the watcher feels very well presented and emotional while remaining vague and cryptic enough to make you want to find out more. the world is vibrant, featuring many diverse regions (and aether ridge) and plenty of new creatures that actually feel distinct from what was present in the original. the soundtrack is full of great, unique songs that complement the gameplay. exploring this world for the first time was a genuine joy. the final ending is honestly one of the best endings i have ever experienced in a videogame. it is beautifully executed, and, in my opinion, significantly more impactful than any of the other endings in the game. finishing rain world: the watcher left me feeling a lot of things. it made me cry. it was exactly what i wished for from a rain world expansion, and more. and i really wish that i could just end the review here.

unfortunately, for reasons i truly do not understand, the developers made some really questionable choices in the expansion's design. i reached the first ending at around ~12 hours in. i had fun the whole time i was working towards it, it felt like it was building up to something wonderful, and the payoff was well worth it. by the end i felt like i had seen everything there was to see in the watcher. i had been to every region, most of them thoroughly explored. but unfortunately, there were 3 more endings to get, including the "true" ending. it took me twenty more hours (20!!!) to finish this expansion. this time was spent lost without any direction, then doing tedious, repetitives, joyless tasks. there was nothing new to see, to experience. there were no discoveries to be had. just tedious, menial labor.

by the time i got to the last ending i had long been ready to be done with the game. if it was any other game, i would have dropped out long before this point. this labor contributed nothing to how impactful the ending felt. i really, truly do not understand why the decision was made to include this much repetitive grinding in a game like rain world. not even as a side thing! it's required to reach the final ending. i genuinely wish i could recommend this expansion to my friends, but as it stands, most people are not going to want to spend 20 hours doing unenjoyable chores to reach an ending in a videogame.

you can rate this review on steam.
please don't send me a friend request if i don't know you!

conflicting changes

2025-10-24T00:00:00Z

CWs/themes: body horror (kinda?), dubious consent, cock tongue, mouthlessness

it's been months now since that fateful encounter. it's hard to remember how exactly it all happened, but you recall the general sequence of events. it was late at night, you were walking home from a friend's house, then you took the wrong turn. an unfamiliar street, so eerily empty and quiet. then a strange figure, floating around you in a way that should be impossible, talking in a way that made no sense. next, a flash of blue light, its hand on your crotch, its fingers in your mouth. and then, nothing. it was gone. it all happened so quickly, you didn't even have a chance to react. you were terrified. in shock. the parts of your body it touched felt strange afterwards, but you were too focused on getting home to notice what exactly was off.

once you were safe and the initial rush of adrenaline wore off, it only took a quick look in the mirror to realize what had happened. where your genitals sat this morning was nothing but a smooth patch of fur. you felt it up, and save for the small hole to pee out of there was no sign that a dick had ever been there. then, the strange feeling in your mouth. you opened it, and instead of your tongue there was a cock, the same shape as yours used to be. it was just sitting there, as if it had always been there, as if nothing had changed. it didn't feel real. it couldn't have been real. you felt so out of it, you decided to go to sleep, and with the adrenaline all out of your body now you passed out cold.

you woke up the next morning, feeling all sore and groggy. you started to get up, but then you recalled the sequence of events from last night. you quickly felt up your crotch to reassure yourself that this was only a dream. but no. it wasn't. the changes were real. they were right there, as much a part of you as any other part of your body. you spent the next few hours pacing in circles, panicking, feeling your changed parts up, trying to figure out how this could be. eventually, you managed to calm down a little bit, and you thought to do what you always do when something's wrong and you don't know why. you took to the internet.

you tried to find answers, ways to reverse it, anything. at first there was nothing - unrelated links, kink stories written about similar themes, art of them - seemingly nobody else has had the same thing happen to them. but then you thought to look up the creature you saw. you didn't remember its appearance as much as you remembered its uncanny presence, the way it floated around you. the grin.

bingo. it didn't take long to find threads of people talking about their own experiences. it all matched. accounts of a street suddenly appearing where it shouldn't be, quiet and empty, the strange creature that looked all wrong, the blue light, the changes. everyone gets changed in a different way. there was no consensus as to why this happens, or what makes specific creatures receive specific kinds of changes. in fact, you didn't find much of use at all, just people's individual experiences. but you did find a link - it was an invite link to a private group chat, a support group of sorts for those who had been changed.

after talking to others for hours, it seemed like there was no undoing it. others had tried to go to different doctors, only to be told that there were no signs of alterations to their anatomy whatsoever, and that with current medical technology there was no way to undo changes this major. in every case it was as if the changes had always been there, always parts of their bodies. nobody was able to find the strange creature again, either. strangely, while others around those changed did notice the differences, they were never worried about them. they never showed any signs of panic, fear, or that anything had been wrong. the person they knew just became changed, and it didn't seem to bother them. they'd ask how it happened, they'd talk about it, but despite what would seem like a cause for concern, nobody was ever worried about it. you were grateful for that, at least. the last thing you wanted was to worry about others freaking out whenever you opened your mouth around them.

as you spent more time chatting in the support group, you noticed a strange pattern. those who had been living with their changes for more than a few months weren't bothered by them. they started out like everyone else: scared, confused, trying to find ways to undo it. but over time they'd come to realize that these changes were ones they had always wanted, even if they didn't know it before. in fact, a lot of the time, they learned to love whatever changes had been done to them. those creatures would usually try to comfort the newly transformed, to tell them that things would be okay. initially, you didn't want to believe them. you refused to believe that you'd ever be happy with a cock in your mouth. it wasn't just the appearance. while it took the place of your tongue, it had almost none of its functionality. you couldn't move it around voluntarily. you were unable to speak. you could still taste, but it wasn't the same. and, worst of all, whenever you became aroused, it would get hard like any other cock. this made it poke out of your maw, leaving you unable to close it. and that's not to mention that your other cock, you know, the one you've been living with your entire life, was now gone.

over time, though, learning to live with this started to seem less and less impossible. after enough time you tried pawing off with your new cock tongue - something that was unthinkable at first. you're not sure now what made you change your mind about trying it: if it was how pent up you were, your curiosity, or something else entirely. but it didn't matter. what mattered is how good it felt. instead of just the tip of your dick being the most sensitive part, the whole thing was equally as sensitive. and it was very sensitive. eventually, you managed to cum with it, it was the best orgasm of your life. after that, things started to change.

you quickly learned to love pawing off like this. how could you not, when it felt this good? you'd do it every day, sometimes more than once. beforehand you weren't too happy about having a cock down there - you'd usually avoid pawing off because it involved having to look at it, or at least touch it. but this new cock was entirely different. it felt so good to paw off with it, so right. eventually it became impossible to imagine pawing off any other way. sometimes you'd rub your blank crotch while stroking your cock tongue, too. it wasn't erogenous, it didn't feel like much, but it reminded you that there was no longer anything there, and that turned you on. so much. it was great. eventually you realized how happy these changes had made you. it was silly, really. losing your cock and having your tongue replaced with one instead? who'd want that? as it turned out: you did.

but just when you thought you had gotten used to the changes, something strange happened.

it's late at night and you're walking home. you were just hanging out with your friends, playing board games, having lots of fun. your friend group loves teasing you about your cock tongue. it often becomes a competition of who can manage to make it poke out of your maw first. there's not much you can do to resist. keeping your mouth closed quickly becomes uncomfortable, your tongue throbbing, pushing against your teeth. it's usually only a few seconds before you open your maw, letting your cock poke out of it and get fully hard. you quickly got used to not being able to speak, too. you were never much of a talker, you honestly prefer mostly relying on body language, using a text to speech app on your phone when you really need to say something. your friends don't mind it at all. if anything, they find it cute and endearing. and you love it.

you're thinking about your board game session. about how much fun you had despite coming in last. about how you can't wait to do it again. but then, you stop in your tracks. this isn't right. you went past the corner store, turned right. to your sides you expected to find more apartment buildings, a curved uphill path ahead. but instead, you found yourself on a narrow street with rowhouses to both sides. the street is completely straight, seemingly continuing on forever both in front of and behind you. you think about running, but it seems pointless. there is nowhere to run to. your heart is beating fast, you're hyperventilating. this isn't right. this can't be happening. not again. you feel sick.

you remember this place. this is exactly the same street where it all happened, where your body was permanently altered. there were plenty of accounts of others being changed in the same way, but there were no accounts of it happening twice. you look around yourself, scared, feeling like you're about to pass out. you see nothing but the empty street and rows of cookie cutter houses one next to another. you think about trying to open one of the doors - but then you see it. it's the same creature you saw before, moving towards you, fast. before you know it, it's floating right in front of your eyes. you're looking right at it, you're seeing its shape, and yet you can't describe it. it's as if you're not meant to be seeing it. not yet, whatever that may mean. that's except for the fixed, unnatural grin on its face. you feel like you're going to throw up.

it floats around you, speaking to you, but you can't focus on its words. all you can think about is what it's going to do to you. you think to speak, to yell, to try to ask it why it's doing this - but with the cock in your mouth, you only manage to let out a few incoherent noises vaguely reminiscent of speech. then you see the familiar blue light. you're lifted off the ground, its digits placed on the sides of your face. there's nothing you can do. you can't move. you're looking right at it as it swipes its hands away, little bits of what looks like goo the same color as your skin and fur flying away from your face. before you manage to process any of this, the strange creature is gone and you're next to the same corner store you had just passed.

you're shaking. you know it changed you again. you're afraid to find out what it did. you don't touch your face, you don't look down. you feel your heart beating fast. your vision is blurry. you need to get out of here. you rush home, moving as fast as you can without outright running. your jaw feels sore, your maw feels all wrong. as soon as you make it home, you immediately lock the door behind you and catch your breath. with your back against the door, you slide down, sitting on the floor. you stare off into the distance, unable to think. it takes a while, but eventually you come back to your senses. you think about it for a while, but you figure it's better to get it over with now than to keep worrying, and you go for it.

you reach your handpaws up towards your face. you feel your jaw, your maw, your snout. it's... it's gone. your mouth is gone. you keep feeling up your snout, your handpaws sliding across the smooth furred surface, finding nothing where your mouth was just moments ago. you try to open your mouth, but you can't. there's no muscles flexing, no movement. you push against your snout, feeling the bones underneath. it's all solid. you don't feel any teeth. you don't feel your lower jaw separate from the upper. it's all just one solid bone. there's no dents, no openings, nothing. it's all gone. looking in the mirror only confirms your fears.

once the initial shock wears off, you notice that you can still feel your cock inside, moving around slightly as you move your head. you tilt your head to the side, trying to use it to feel around in there, but all you feel is flesh surrounding it tightly on all sides. it's a relief that your cock is still there, at least.

you spend the night lying awake in bed, feeling your snout, uselessly trying to open a mouth that's not there. you message the support group, asking if anyone else has encountered this creature twice, asking if anyone else had their mouth taken away. but no luck. you've been through this before, but this feels different. it's one thing to have your cock taken away and your tongue replaced with a different cock, you think, but it's much more severe to have your entire mouth taken away. you try to make a sound, any sound. but you can't. the only sounds you manage to make are the quiet sounds of air entering and leaving your nostrils. you try to swallow and, to your surprise, you're able to do that still. you're not sure how that works, but you'll take it.

eventually, despite all the anxiety and stress, you manage to fall asleep.

you wake up the next day. with hopes that this has all been a dream, you feel up your snout and... nope. your mouth is still very much gone. you let out a sigh through your nose, looking into the distance, zoning out, thinking about it all. you check the support group, hoping that maybe someone might have some answers or clues to your situation. but there's only one new message from a member, suggesting that you go see a doctor. that even if they're not able to help, it'll at least be good to know just how much you lost. you figure that this is a good idea. not wanting anyone to see your lack of a mouth, you put on a face mask, and get going. no use delaying it.

the doctor visit only confirms your fears. a simple x-ray reveals that all your teeth and the entirety of your lower jaw have fused with your skull, which is now just one solid bone. the muscles used to move your jaw are gone, too. the internal cavity is still there, practically unchanged, with your cock tongue exactly where it was before and your throat behind it. as if it wasn't enough, your vocal cords are gone, too. you had a feeling, since you were not able to make any kind of noise the night prior. upon learning this, you let out another sigh, zoning out again, getting lost in thought. you only hear parts of what your doctor says afterwards. of them explaining that you don't need to eat or drink anymore. of how there's no way they'd be able to help you have a mouth again. but you already know you're stuck like this. just like you were stuck with your cock tongue before.

later at home, you lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling. you think about exactly how this is going to change your life. trying to see some positives in it, thinking that maybe that is going to help you feel better. you already weren't talking with the cock tongue in your mouth, so not being able to make any noises at all isn't that much of a change, right? you never particularly liked having to eat, it always just felt like a chore. you will definitely miss being able to taste things, but you can get used to that, you figure. you should still be able to -

oh.

pawing off.

you can't do that now, can you?

you feel at your blank crotch, no more of an erogenous zone than it was before. you feel at your snout, trying to rub it, press into it, but it's no use. all it does is make your cock tongue swell up inside your mouth cavity, pressing up against the impenetrable wall, desperately trying to get hard, but completely unable to. it reminds you of when you used to wear chastity cages, except there's no taking this one off. gods. your cock is throbbing, leaking, pressing against the inside of what was once your mouth, so desperate to get hard! it's clouding your thoughts, filling you with need. you rub and rub, pressing your handpaws into your snout desperately, but none of that makes it through to your cock tongue. you keep going, not knowing what else to do. 5 minutes. 10. 20. an hour. you taste the pre leaking out of your cock, being forced to swallow it, which only serves to fill you with more need. you forget all about your worries and anxiety. all you can think about now is that you need to cum. desperately.

you stop. you get up, quickly reaching into your drawer, pulling out your magic wand vibrator. if anything's going to be able to do it, it's this. you're shaking, both worried that this isn't gonna do it and filled with need, desperately hoping that this does the trick. you lay back down, pressing the top of the vibrator against the side of your snout, right next to where your cock tongue is pressing against the internal cavity.

you turn it on.

nothing.

you feel it vibrating your skin, your inner tissues, but it's not enough to penetrate all the way to your tongue.

you turn it higher.

then higher again.

then...

you feel it!

oh god you can feel it! barely, but you can. you press the vibrator into your snout harder. at its highest setting the vibrations are so intense, but just barely enough to penetrate to your only remaining erogenous zone. you don't know if it's enough, but you don't care. all you can think about is how happy you are to be able to feel anything at all. at this point, you're determined to do anything to cum. you have to! it has to be possible.

you rub the vibrator in circles around the area where it penetrates your thick snout, using your other hand to rub your crotch. rubbing down there doesn't feel like much, but it turns you on, and that's enough. you rub and press, harder and harder. soon, you find yourself humping a pillow. you're so desperate. you're swallowing more and more pre as your cock tongue leaks inside your snout, forcing you to taste it. gods. it barely feels like anything, but you're so full of need, it doesn't matter to you at all. you have no idea how long you've been at it at this point. a few hours at least. it doesn't matter. you can tell that you're getting closer. you don't care if you're just imagining it.

more hours pass. your snout is red from all the rubbing, your body sore and covered in sweat. but you're so close! you can't stop now. you keep rubbing, noticing the light on your vibrator turning red, indicating the battery is about to run out. but gods, you're so, so close now. it has to be enough. it has to. it... it ....

oh!

oh god!!

oH GodddDDdDDd!!!

GHHGHGHHGH

huffing loudly, you feel your toes curl as you dig your claws into the pillow you've been grinding, your whole body tensing up. this is it! feeling yourself go over the edge, dropping the vibrator as you cum. you feel your cock tongue throbbing hard inside your snout, filling the entire cavity with more and more cum. it's so intense, a feeling more euphoric than anything you've ever felt before. and it just keeps going. you're squirming on your bed, your handpaws wrapped around your snout as the intense feelings radiating from it spreads throughout your body. you're rolling in pools of your on sweat. it's about a minute until it finally starts tapering off, slowing down.

as you start coming back to your senses, you feel that what used to be your mouth is now entirely filled with your own cum. whenever you pawed off with your cock tongue before, you'd always just cum onto a tissue, or spit it out. you'd never swallow it. but... there's nothing else you could do now. not without a mouth. eventually, you swallow. you feel the warm, sticky, salty substance travel down your throat. you're forced to feel it, forced to taste it. there's still more left. you swallow once more, finally getting all of it. it feels so strange, swallowing without a mouth. it feels so. so...

you can't deny it.

you're really, really into this. you loved every last bit of this whole experience! you loved how hard it was to make yourself feel good, you loved the challenge, you loved how long it took! you loved how fucking weird all of this was! you loved being forced to taste and swallow your own cum! gods. this isn't a curse. it's a blessing, and there's no question about it.

months have passed now. as strange as it is, lacking a mouth has helped you feel more comfortable in your body. you find yourself actually caring about your appearance. you wear clothing that looks good on you. you don't bother with a mask anymore, you proudly leave your blank mouthless snout out for the world to see. sure you get stared at sometimes, but if anything, it makes you happy. you used to dread being seen as weird. you hated it, you hated how it made you feel so disconnected from everyone. so isolated. so lonely. but now, it brings you so much joy! lacking a mouth and being unable to talk, there's absolutely no hiding how weird you are. and you love it that way.

author's note: i hope you enjoyed the story! please leave a comment if you did <3 you can do so anonymously, or click "sign in" to add your name, no login required.

also: the second half of the story is in large part based on my experiences with pawing off after my bottom surgery. thought that was worth mentioning :3

the unspoken associations of drawing weird shit

2025-10-16T00:00:00Z

i'll start by saying that i'm in no way trying to complain about the way you guys interact with me or my artwork. the whole point of this blog post is to talk about the stigma of interacting and associating with weirdo artists.

this is a topic that has been on my mind a decent amount lately. all of you reading this probably know that i draw weird shit. i draw both kink and identity focused themes that i honestly haven't seen explored much by others. if you go look at some of the tags i use on places like furaffinity, you'll likely find just my art and like, a few others in bewteen. i like drawing weird shit. it's cathartic for me in a way few things in this world are. it allows me to explore ideas and themes that i can't explore in the real world. not even literally, necessarily, like: for a multitude of reasons i just can't get away with not speaking in the real world, so it brings me a lot of joy to make my sona permanently unable to speak and draw her like that. she doesn't have to worry about it, ever, she can live peacefully knowing that nobody's ever going to expect her to speak. and that in turn makes me happy.

unfortunately, drawing this kinda stuff comes at a cost that i don't really see brought up often. i'm not always drawing weird shit. sometimes i draw pretty scenes and landscapes, emotional artworks that i really want others to connect with. sometimes i make non-art related stuff that i'm really proud of and i want to share. but all this is tainted by the weird stuff i make.

those who want to follow me for my weird stuff won't mind me sharing pretty / artsy stuff sometimes, or other types of projects that i've been up to. but those who want to follow me for the non-weird stuff are very unlikely to want to stick around once they see the weird shit i make. i don't know if it's just in my head but a lot of the time when i interact with people from outside of my circles i just keep worrying that they'll see the weird stuff i draw and be disgusted by it. they won't say anything, but they'll quietly judge me and wish for me to leave them alone.

nobody's ever said anything negative to me about the weird stuff i draw. i've gotten nothing but praise from those who like it. but it's not what's said that bothers me, it's the silence. i'll often comment on art by artists i like, even when it's of themes i don't care for. i'll comment on how well executed something is, on how pretty it is, comment on the style or colors or ask what technique was used or whatever. it just seems like the nice thing to do, to support artists you like even when they're drawing stuff you're not that excited about. it's why it feels awful when i get significantly less interactions on my work when it's a theme i know isn't popular. like, i couldn't care less about the numbers, i'm not complaining about not getting enough, it's just the difference between the weirder stuff and my other work. it's knowing that people are avoiding it and i can't help but think it's because they don't want to be associated with it. they won't share it because they worry others would think that means they like it. they won't comment for the same reason, in fear someone would see them in the comments under that. they don't wanna be seen associated with this weird shit. i also this with me every time i reach out to someone i admire to comment on their work, every time i draw something for them. that feeling of knowing they'll appreciate it but they will not want to associate with me because of the weird shit i draw.

i want to start working on a long form comic project someday. this would be a story focused comic with very little (if any) kink / horny content. i really, really dislike separating my work based on how weird it is or whether it's sfw or nsfw. it just feels disingenuous, it feels like i'm hiding important parts of myself for the sake of pleasing others. but when i think about my comic project, i keep thinking about whether i want to separate it from my other work or keep it all together. on one hoof, i want to continue being fully myself, not hiding any parts of me for others' comfort or convenience, not sterilizing my work for the sake of reaching a wider audience. but on the other hoof, i feel like the overlap of critters who follow me for the weird shit and for the atmospheric / emotional shit is next to none - at least based on who comments on what. so i'd be killing my project's chance at success by keeping it mixed with my other stuff.

it's tiring, honestly. i worry so much about what others think of me. i don't wanna just be seen as "that weirdo". but i also don't wanna be seen as not weird. it feels like often times for people when there's any amount of weird it's all they see, an all or nothing type situation. i want to live in a world where i can draw myself as a weird mouthless chimera thing with 4 big useless hooves without losing the ability to be taken seriously, without that being all that people see.

in my circles it's not that big of an issue - after all, if you're here, if you follow me and you're reading this, you're likely not the judgmental type i'm talking about. but i don't want to just be stuck in my bubble. i want to be able to talk to people from outside it without worrying about what they'll think of me when they learn about the art i do and the themes that make me happy.

a friend summarized this whole thing pretty well: i draw weird stuff in addition to normal stuff, which makes me feel like normal artists might have trouble interfacing with it/me

this could all absolutely be in my head for all i know. it probably is for the most part, honestly. but it still felt like something worth talking about. who knows, maybe some of you will relate.

please leave a comment down below if any of this spoke to you! there's no need to register, you can just click the "sign in" button and type in your name, there's no need to actually log in to anything.

i've had a few critters reach out about how they like reading my blog posts and wish i wrote more of them, so i'll try! i have a few other topics in mind that i could talk about, and i'm sure i can think of more. till next time! pebble

a brief update

2025-06-02T00:00:00Z

hi all! it's been a bit, i figured i'd write a quick update.

u may or may not have noticed that i haven't exactly been present online lately. i wouldn't blame u if u didn't! i've never exactly been the most active. there's not really much to it, it's mainly for two reasons:

firstly, my blog posts regarding my surgery have gotten around, and while nothing negative's come out of that and i'm glad that it's helped spread awareness of the whole thing, i've been feeling very exposed online as a result. i can't help but overthink all the people potentially seeing anything i say or share online and how they'd judge me for it, even if that's very unlikely to happen. which ties into the second thing:

i have a very unhealthy relationship with social media and honestly existing online in general. i'd blame it on my time on twitter and how that's shaped how i interact with the online world in a lot of ways but really it's mostly a me thing, specifically something to do with a mental disorder. i was gonna write about the specifics of what that entails here but i honestly need to stop sharing so much about my personal life online.

though my main reason for taking a break from Posting is that i don't feel like i'm doing it for myself. i feel like there's this quota that i have to fulfill - i have to draw enough things, i have to make enough things and they have to be good enough otherwise the people online will no longer like me. i tried a lot of things to help with this but ultimately i always end up slipping back into this mindset. short of just not sharing things online at all i haven't found anything that genuinely helps - so as much as it sucks and as isolating as it feels it's something i need to keep doing, or i may never break free from the cycle.

i've drawn things and coded things and created things in my absence but as much as i'd like to i have to refrain from sharing for now. i'll likely be back, eventually, but i need to build a better relationship with existing online first. this isn't a goodbye, the kind and sweet reactions i've gotten to my work over the years have made me very happy and i've greatly enjoyed the feeling of community i have online but i do need to take a break, however long it may be.

there's this thread i saw shared on cohost when it was shutting down that's really stuck with me. it's something i've been trying to live by since and it feels fitting to close the blog post off with it.

thanks for reading. until next time! pebble

my first year of art

2024-12-19T00:00:00Z

there's a bunch of stuff i drew in 2017, my first year of trying to actively draw, that i still really like - i was very new to it, i wasn't very good, but i felt so inspired and motivated and full of ideas in a way i haven't been able to get close to since. these don't exist anywhere online so i figured i'd share some of my favorites.

hover over the drawings below to see their full title and when they were drawn. clicking them will open their full resolution in a new tab.

dawn

May 7, 2017

coffee break

May 8, 2017

rain request

May 13, 2017

procrastinating

May 18, 2017

respite

May 30, 2017

just another boring day at work

June 24, 2017

early on i really liked to focus on portraying characters just sorta going about their lives, doing mundane things they'd normally do. i guess it kinda helped ground me, it was a pretty rough point in my life

(btw look closely at the clouds on the second one below :3)

summertime sadness

June 30, 2017

field drawing

July 5, 2017

rainy day

July 7, 2017

on top of the world

August 6, 2017

train

August 10, 2017

liftoff

August 28, 2017

i also tried animating some, i won't lie it was mostly for clout bc i figured animated drawings would draw more attention, but it was fun! the train one was my most popular drawing on tumblr for as long as i had the account, even years down the line, which is pretty funny.

the "liftoff" one didn't have as much universal appeal i guess, it never got noticed. i still like it a lot though. wild to me that i made something like this not even a year after i picked up drawing!

the first one below, "fading", was a vent art. poor 17 year old me had so much to figure out. i wouldn't put together that i'm trans until like, a year after i drew this. and that was only the start of the journey. i wish i could go back and hug her.

fading

August 29, 2017

(drawing 70, no title)

September 5, 2017

(drawing 71, no title)

September 16, 2017

gotta stay positive

September 22, 2017

fall

October 1, 2017

winter

October 1, 2017

something to note here is that despite the fact that i was living in eastern europe at this point in my life, you'll notice the power outlets and light switch on drawing 71 are in the US style. having grown up on the internet where most people around me were from the US, i always felt out of place in my own country. a lot of the environments in my early drawings are also reminiscent more of places in the US than elsewhere. i might make a blog post on this topic at some point in the future, it's not really something i talked about before.

another slightly more fun thing is that a bunch of my drawings from this point in time had black bars at the top and bottom. this was to make them look more "cinematic" - it was something i picked up on artstation, where a lot of the art i was looking at for inspiration had these. i was kinda obsessed with trying to like, go for that environmental concept art kinda style. in my first year of drawing.

no wonder i ended up getting burnt out so bad jkdfhg

(also, the "gotta stay positive" drawing above is something i still look back on - u did it girl <3 u got good at it, i'm so proud of you)

that's what friends are for (3 panels)

October 7, 2017

balloons (animated, sound)

October 16, 2017

waiting in the rain

October 29, 2017

cold breath

November 12, 2017

cold breath (no fx, bonus)

November 12, 2017

enclosure

December 16, 2017

if you look at the "waiting in the rain" and "cold breath" drawings above (and the no fx version of cold breath), you'll notice that i relied heavily on my knowledge of visual effects to make up for my lack of drawing skill. at this point i had been messing with video fx production and designing graphics and stuff for at least 4-5 years, so it's something i was way more skilled with than drawing

as i got better at drawing, i started using this less and less, eventually giving up on it entirely. my art can definitely stand up on its own now, but oftentimes i wish i had the patience to do this kind of stuff with my art still. i feel like with my current drawing skill it could add a lot.

when i finish a drawing now i'm just kinda, done with it. i wanna post it and move on to the next thing. back then, i'd fiddle with it for a day or two after i was done with it, just tweak little things and add fun little effects and stuff. it wasn't efficient but it was fun. i wonder if i could somehow get myself to be ok with taking it slow again

ok that's it! u made it through the blog post !! good job :3 i hope it was a fun read. i wanted to share this stuff both bc i'm still v proud of this old art and bc when i was starting out i remember how much it helped to see good artists share their old, imperfect art, so i'm hoping maybe this'll motivate someone out there to pick drawing up or to keep going. u got this.

i'll also mention that these are my favorite drawings from 2017. there were plenty of worse ones, ones i'm not as proud of. you can find all of these in my art archive!

my history with social media as an artist

2024-11-27T00:00:00Z

why you won't see my art on bluesky

in 2017 i was mostly active on twitter. i had not really been posting anything at this point, i mostly just followed artists i admired. i was surrounded by a culture of "popular" (read: with many followers) artists interacting with each other, quietly looking down on anyone who did not have the numbers. i was a dumb kid and i didn't know how stupid and pointless this was, i just wanted to be a part of the cool kids club. so i started drawing.

starting out as a twitter artist

it wasn't the only reason i was drawing, i also wanted to get good at something and to not feel like i was just wasting my time, but deep down, it was my main reason. i'd draw a thing, post it, see how it did, then move on to the next. at first, it didn't bother me that i got nearly no interactions, i figured i was new to it and that it'd take a while to get to where i wanted. i figured this is how all the big artists stared

then i got better, and better, i started putting more and more effort into my art, i was proud of my work. but the numbers stayed the same. i saw others around me putting way less effort into their art, being way less skilled, and getting all the numbers. i saw this as a personal failure. there was something i wasn't doing right.

i put more and more work into my art, pushing myself, drawing as much as i could so the algorithm wouldn't stop showing my stuff to the few people that followed me. i started getting really depressed over it.

tumblr

at some point around 2018/2019, i started posting my art to tumblr. tumblr's layout combines all likes and comments and shares into one number, tucks notifications away and doesn't show anyone's follower count. i had no idea how to see someone's value in the way i had been taught, it was really confusing at first. but eventually, as i started getting used to it, i started to see i could have fun drawing without worrying about the numbers. i started to deprioritize twitter, i started posting my art to furaffinity as well since i liked it as a gallery site. deep down my goal was still to be popular and a part of the cool kid's club, but i was letting myself have fun with drawing now.

then came tumblr's porn ban.

the return

only a small portion of my art was nsfw, but still, to be forbidden from sharing that altogether because daddy apple no likey seriously upset me. after a little while i stopped posting my art to tumblr and returned to twitter. i had grown out of wanting to be popular and a part of the cool kid's club, i had a small but dedicated following whom i appreciated so much.

despite that, because of how twitter is designed, the obsession with numbers returned. i'd tell myself it didn't bother me, but every time a drawing didn't get as many likes as i expected it to i'd get very depressed over it. i based my value as a person entirely on my ability to produce art. this continued until 2022.

the exit

in april of 2022, twitter was acquired by a very influential fascist. i figured maybe things would be ok, but as soon as protections of trans people were removed from the ToS i was gone. by this point, i had gone back to and left tumblr multiple times, the platform didn't seem like it had a future, i needed a different place to go

i saw shugo make an account on and talk about this platform i had never heard of before, cohost. i figured i'd give it a try, who not, right? i liked the aesthetics and the tumblr-like layout.

it took a little getting used to, not being able to see any numbers was weird but i figured it didn't bother me. i made sure to share my account on twitter and enough of my most active followers followed me on cohost that i figured i could make the switch. i announced that in two weeks i'd be deleting my twitter account, and then i did.

the healing

over the next two years i'd come to realize just how much harm twitter had done to my mental health. my entire relationship with art had been built on numbers. i was basing my entire self worth on my ability to create art, to be the artist people followed. this could not continue

i was so burnt out. i noticed i was putting way less effort into my art now. i was not drawing as much as i used to. drawing brought me no joy anymore, it was just an obligation

i have an innate need to create, so i couldn't just stop, just give up. i figured i'd take it slow, draw only when i felt like it. i wouldn't push myself anymore. i'd find other things i enjoyed, teach myself to be a creature first and an artist second. i began to heal. i made a lot of discoveries about myself and i was able to use my art to explore them. it was so nice to have motivation to do art again, to not feel it was an obligation.

the death of eggbug

just when i felt like things were stable and i had found a healthy relationship with myself & my art, cohost announced it would be shutting down. i won't get into how this made me feel and the things that followed. but i found a new home on critter cafe, which itself was on fedi, a place i used to loathe. it's tough, it's not cohost, but it's close enough where i can be comfy being myself and sharing the art i like. there's no numbers to worry about. i'm surrounded by a whole bunch of other ex-cohost users who get it

i lost touch with about 2/3 of the people i was in touch with on cohost. some chose to go to bluesky, others left the social internet entirely. i can't say i wasn't tempted to make a bluesky account too, just so i could follow people there, but just going there and seeing that it looked and felt exactly like twitter triggered a traumatic response in me and i knew i just, could not.

bluesky

bluesky is literally just twitter as it was when i left it. it's the same thing, started by the same people with the same values. i noticed some people who i was following on fedi had gone quiet only to move to bluesky. fedi sucks, i'm not gonna sugarcoat it, i get why people would want to go back to something familiar too. but it just, hurts.

twitter hurt me so much. i'm exactly the kind of person their whole business model preys on... despite that, i ended up making an account on bluesky. i don't intend to be posting anything there, or even talk about anything. i'm just going to use it to follow the few people i care about most who i can't be in touch with elsewhere. the only reason i'm able to do this is because of a userscript beeps shared with me that hides all the numbers.

as soon as i feel even the slightest bit of my obsession with numbers returning, i'm out. i can't and i won't do this to myself again.

closing words

i don't really know how to close out here. if you managed to get this far, thank you for reading through my ramble. i hope my unwillingness to move to bluesky makes a little more sense now. take care

Developing v2

2024-11-16T00:00:00Z

It’s out !!!! I wanted to write a blog post to celebrate the launch of this new version that I’ve been working on for about 2 months now, so here it is!

Motivation

After taking a break from working on v1 on my site for a while, I went and looked back at it and realized just how,, dated it looked. During the time I spent working on it I learned so many things, so many better ways I could do stuff. The main page of v1 was just this tiny rectangle in the middle of the screen with a mobile version that was shoddily put together. I could do better than this.

So with that, I started working on version 2. At first, it was just the homepage, I intended to make it in the same style as the rest of the pages and just, make it look more modern. But as I was working on this and iterating with different kinds of looks and stuff I realized I wanted to do it differently and that keeping the design of the other pages was holding me back.

Inspiration

I went through all of the pages I link on my “cool links” page, looking for any design elements that stood out for inspiration. I took lots of notes and screenshots, slowly figuring out what I wanted to do. If your page is on my links page, you’ve inspired me. With that said, I probably took the most inspiration from beeps, freeplay and swifty. at this point I knew I wanted to make something clean, but also fun.

Iteration

At first I focused solely on the homepage, writing everything from scratch because the original homepage code was a mess. By test 3 I had put together a functioning version of the main page, laid out exactly as I wanted it. At that point I moved on to redesigning the rest of the pages. I tried doing it from scratch, but that code wasn’t as bad and could definitely be built on top of, so that’s the route I went with.

I went through lots of different designs, color schemes, etc., trying out different things to see what would stick. I ended up really liking a neutral dark color scheme. I decided I’d get rid of the reactive 3d buttons, because while cool looking, they didn’t really fit in anymore and the javascript code for them was a huge mess that I did not want to continue maintaining.

Eventually I was done with a version of the main pages I was happy with, but now the homepage was out of date and written differently from the rest of it. I had used two different stylesheet files, one for the homepage and one for the rest, a holdover from how I was doing v1. I decided this wasn’t really working.

I ended up having to rewrite the homepage completely with code from the rest of the pages. Internally it’s now laid out like a wide version of a regular page, only without the sidebar and with a custom header bar. This was very much worth it, it made it so much easier to add and edit stuff down the line.

Now that I had a functioning base, I started working on the blog. It was surprisingly easy to get it working! With all the pieces in place I just had to assemble them together and thanks to 11ty I had a functioning blog system. After that I spent about a week writing different elements to use on the blog, like different column layouts, inline images, textboxes, etc. I ported over the BIID explainer article I wrote to test things out, and it worked great!

At that point, I realized the look of the page was kind of bland and sterile. It was all dark and gray, with only little bits of yellow and no personality. I had just finished signalis at this point and I was watching a friend play through it, when I saw a really cool view and I took a quick screenshot. I liked this view a ton, I figured it’d make a good background for my site, so I remade it in high resolution and tried using it. And it worked !!! It looked so good on its own, but after adjusting the color scheme a little it was perfect.

The last thing I worked on was the gallery. I left this for last because I initially wanted to go with a lightweight plugin and I really do not like working with javascript. I iterated with this for a bit, and I got it to work, but it was a mess and really clunky and it did not bring me joy. Instead, I decided to go with a very simple system that’ll open the image you click on in a new tab. It works, it’s lightweight, and I can always iterate on it later.

With that, I had a release candidate, and after squashing a few bugs it was ready for release !!

Closing thoughts

Working on this was a ton of fun !! I got to explore lots of different ways of doing things and I’m so happy with how things ended up looking. There’s a bunch I ended up moving from the “before release” list to the “after release” list, like themes and comments and a projects page, but now I’ll be able to work on those things knowing my live page isn’t looking like ass :D

Thanks for reading !!!

Version list

I put together a bunch of live test versions throughout the development process. You can have a look at them yourself, if you want to!

I recommend opening these in a new tab as none of the navigation buttons on them will take you back here.

v2_test1 // v2_test2 // v2_test3 // v2_test4 // v2_test5 // v2_test6-1 // v2_test6-2 // v2_test6-3 // v2_test6-4 // v2_test6-5 // v2_test6-6 // v2_rc1 //